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Today was another difficult day. Again I didn't get enough sleep and woke up in pain. Today it was really bad. I spent the first couple of hours wailing and crying. I was kinda thankful that I was alone. I know that seeing me in that much agony is painful to my friends.
Once the pain was of a managable level, I got some editing done. That usually cheers me up, especially if I really like the images.
Before I lost the sun, I mustered up the initiative to take my picture for the day. I love my camouflage jacket. Correction, I love all of my camouflage jackets. I have 4 of them. I have always loved camouflage. I think it's because I've always wanted the power of invisibility.
My whole life I've been torn between wanting to be the center of attention and wanting to disappear. I love attention, but I fear being judged. I'm very outgoing, but also kinda intraverted due to my nerve issues. It's quite an internal struggle. I am hoping that this self portrait project will help with that.
April 27th
That last paragraph really spoke to me too. I know exactly how you feel, pretty much word to word.
ReplyDeletesorry to hear you're in pain again, I hope it goes away soon. -hugs-